Relationship & In Relation To

It’s time for Transformational Tuesdays again!

Transformational Tuesdays is all about the experiences we have as we’re going through transformation. If you’re alive and on this earth, you are going through transformation. It’s a synonym for life. 

So I always try to pick a topic that comes up through the day or through my interactions with people. And this word came up twice for me in a relatively short amount of time — relationship. 

When we think of the word relationship, probably, at least for me, one of the things that comes up is your relationship with a significant other. 

But that’s not the whole of what relationship is about. 

If you think of the word relationship, it can also mean “in relation to.” 

So we don’t just have a relationship with our significant other, we have a relationship with everything in our lives: friends, family, coworkers. 

You can also have a relationship with your business, or with your work (not necessarily with the people at work, but with your actual job and how you’re showing up in relation to it). 

And the thing with all these relationships is that our relationship with ourselves is going to be mirrored in all the other relationships we have with everything and everyone else. 

So let that sink in for a second. 

Our relationship with ourselves gets mirrored back to us all day long with all of our other relationships. 

How are we showing up in our own lives? Because where you are one way, you are the same everywhere else. 

When I was the head of HR, I would have people who would come into my office because they were having a conflict in one of their relationships, either with their boss or their work. And what I always knew was that there was a kernel of something within themselves that was causing the light to be shed back on them. 

But most of the time, we will put a target on the other person. We will tell ourselves it’s not how we are showing up. If only Susie would act this way, or if only Frank would do this, then my life would be fantastic. 

I would like to sign up with that!

But that’s not what transformation is about. Transformation is owning every piece of how we’re showing up in relationship to everything. 

So if you want to know how things are going with yourself and how you feel about yourself, see how you’re showing up in other relationships. 

Is there frustration? Are you honoring your word? Where are you not giving nurturing compassion? 

I think there’s a tendency to not recognize that even our work is a relationship. We think it’s just something that we have to do. 

But what if we really, intentionally decided to be in a healthy relationship with what we do in this world? How would that change your commitment, your perspective, and what you do? 

So this week, think about: how are you in relationship with yourself, and how does that show up with others?