How to Use Your Vulnerability As An Advantage — Without Being Taken Advantage Of

Welcome to Transformational Tuesdays! Always honored to be here, and honored that you are here too! 

What we do here on Transformational Tuesdays is: we talk about SH!T.

Sh!t that helps you transform, helps you grow, and helps you move in the direction of your purpose and why you’re here on Earth. 

This week I have an interesting topic, which I’ve been having great conversations around, and I thought it would be great to share:

How can you use vulnerability as an advantage? And more so, how can you do it without being taken advantage of?

The thing is, that if you are a leader, if you’re trying to do something in this world, you do it from a place of having a big heart and wanting to make a difference. You want to make an impact in the world. 

I think that’s absolutely fantastic. In fact, the more that we come to our work, our business, or whatever we are doing, from a standpoint of service, the more rewarding it is. It’s like that’s what we’re here for. 

When we’re in that realm of service, and of giving, and of opening our heart, there’s a lot of great things that come from that. You allow love to come in. You allow yourself to receive those gifts and love from other people because you’re opening your heart up. You’re also giving others permission to do the same. 

When you lean into your vulnerability, it allows you to be perceived as human. So you don’t have to walk around with this mask on — I call this the fake-a$$ syndrome. You can just be yourself, which allows others around you to just be themselves, too. We can all show up just the way we are: perfectly imperfect. Sometimes we miss the mark, and that’s all part of the formula. 

So what I mean when I say that you can use your vulnerability as an advantage is that it helps you connect with other people, and other people to connect with you. 

But there can be some caveats with that. 

When you have an open heart, despite all the benefits that it offers, you also have to be aware that it can be taken advantage of. 

And we don’t want that to happen, right?

We’re not in a line of service to be used, get hurt, or be taken advantage of. 

There shouldn’t ever be a situation where you have to give away a part of you in a negative way, just to be of service. 

If you feel like you open yourself up and get taken advantage of, or have negative experiences, it means that you’ve got some things to work on. 

So what can you work on? How can you stand with your open heart, but not be taken advantage of? 

There are two things I would like to pass on: 

First, you need to have boundaries. 

You can feel your boundaries intrinsically — in your heart, in your soul, and in your intuition. 

If you are in a good situation, a good relationship, a good exchange — then you know this. You are blessed to have this tool built into your system. 

So you gotta trust that system! 

If things don’t feel right, you need to lean in and ask questions. 

You need to have boundaries. 

You need to speak up: 

“Hey! Hey man, that’s not OK with me.” 

“It’s not OK to be treated like that.” 

“It’s not OK to be talked to that way.” 

“It’s not OK, I feel uncomfortable, and you’re kind of edging in on my boundary here.” 

You’ve got to be clear on what those boundaries are, and then express them. And you can express them in a loving way. 

But ultimately, you are the keeper of your heart, and you’re responsible for guarding it. 

Not shutting it off, but guarding it. 

I, myself, have a big heart. And what I do know is that most people have a really big heart, too. But for some people, unfortunately something shifted in them, and they start to prey on nice people. So if you have those people in your life, you can love them from a distance, but they don’t have to come in and take from you. 

Second, you need to have discernment.

Discernment just means that you get to set the pace of your judgment of where you are in a situation. 

You get to choose with your experience, your intuition, and all your practice. 

Remember: that’s what transformation is about. It’s about getting to know yourself better. So that you can heal and reconnect with yourself, and so that you can pass that on to others. 

And my biggest wish for everybody is that we all get reconnected, healed within ourselves, and pass that to somebody else, and they pass it on to someone else. 

And that’s, folks, how we heal the world. 

I know that’s a grand gesture. 

But that’s why my business is called “LeadHERship Revolution.” 

Because this is a revolutionary idea: we all have traumas, we all have hurts, we all have mistakes. But when we come to own them, love them, and then get out there in the world — that’s what gives us great vulnerability with all its benefits. 

So share your stories, tell your truth. You never know who needs to hear your story so that they can heal and connect. That’s part of being vulnerable. 

Open your heart with discernment and a little bit of boundaries. 

I have great confidence in people, in this world, and in you.